things I hate about ***

He's a goddamn liar.

• Looking For: A Relationship
• We should definitely hang out more.
• I'm grounded.

He's arrogant as hell.

• I love being able to play the guitar.
• Forever fixing his hair.
• Struts like a rooster ("I'm so hot" mentality).

He uses people.

• "I miss the way you kissed me."
• Let's hang out so that I can lie to you to get something I want.
• I just told her that so she would leave me alone.

He is stupid.

• Do you really not realize you're messing with two girls who have been friends since elementary school? who talk EVERY DAY?
• Do you honestly think you can get away with this forever? with all these girls?
• Do you truly not comprehend that we could destroy you?

He got me to give him a second chance.

I think that's what I hate most.

bad, bad road.

You know what the third-worst thing is?

The third-worst thing is when a close friend whom you love dearly and talk to all the time suddenly, for one reason or another, perhaps a fallout of sorts over romantic issues, stops talking to you, so you stop talking to them. The lines of communication are readily available, but neither person reaches out and soon, the entire friendship is in question as it deteriorates before you.

You know what the second-worst thing is?

The second-worst thing is having two friends like that.

You know what the worst thing is?

Realizing how much you miss them, but being unable to take that step.

things you learn by working in a cafe.

"Organic" does not necessarily stipulate that it's fresh.

Always always always brew the espresso into the water when making an Americano, not the other way around, because the one time you get lazy and do it the backwards way, Americano Guy will come up, bitch about how the crema's not right, get you to remake it, reject it again, then storm out (but not before hollering about how Starbucks can do it better).

Customers beg to be lied to. "Is the Mozzarella and Tomato sandwich good?" "Yes, of course." A better question is which is a more accurate reason why I said that:

a. I really don't care about your lunch.
b. I get paid when you buy things. Just buy the sandwich.
c. I actually really like the Mozz & Tom.

Who knows, it could be any or all of those answers. It's probably one of the first two, though.

A customer would have to be a freaking superhuman demigod(dess) to tell the difference when I give them whole milk instead of 2% (we don't have actual 2% milk; we have to mix whole and skim. I'm not just a bad person). They deserve those extra few calories, picky bastards.

Fat people always ask for skim milk.

Pregnant women are the most awful and obnoxious people ever. I honestly don't know or care if the asiago cheese is pasteurized. No, I can't find out. Because no one knows. Well, I'm sorry you can't eat any cheese that isn't pasteurized. You know, actually, I'm pretty sure it is pasteurized. Go ahead and eat it. Your child's probably going to be defective anyway, having your genes, so what's this little bit of spoiled curd gonna do?

Children are demons. They scream. They cry. They take the frosting off of their beautifully decorated cupcakes and draw mediocre sketches on the beige wall.

Apparently, only Hispanic people know how to cook or wash dishes. Hence, Spanish is the most useful language ever. "La basura" means "the trash." "Que es eso?" means "what is this?" "Seguro que si, mi amor" means "of course, my love." Other conversation between members of the BOH (back of house) staff is usually about your ass.

Don't trust iced coffee.

love's a weird thing.

"I love you" means a lot of things. It can be a casual remark to another person when they have done something pleasing or said something entertaining. It can be an assertion of friendship. It can also be romantic, which is, as all those pop songs shout through poorly worded lyrics, the ultimate kind of love.
So that should be easier to say. "I love you," in the purest and most perfect sense of the phrase.

It's not.

There's this nasty gap between friendship and romance that "I love you" just doesn't bridge. I told you that I loved you when we were "just friends," but now I can't say that anymore. It's not that I love you any less...but I know it would make you uncomfortable to talk about love when so recently we talked about Love.

Why is it such a big deal anyway? You can't define love. It's not the heart-pounding, butterflies in the stomach, symptomatic love that's stereotyped into meaninglessness. It's something indescribable. So why is it such a big deal to say to someone, "I love you"?
I love a lot of people in very different ways. Some I wish I didn't love. Some I'm not sure how I love. Overall, it's terribly confusing and if I didn't love love, then I would HATE it.

hi mom!

what's up.

I didn't know it was possible.

I have found something I hate more than the male gender.

Let me preface by saying that this is A BIG DEAL. I mean...c'mon.

This newly-realized hatred can be named with a very succinct acronym: DAMN.
Or otherwise Dickhead! AHH! Merge NOW!

So you're driving down an entrance ramp to the Durham Freeway. There is one car in front of you. Say an SUV, which any sane person would assume has good pickup and decent tires for driving over all that mountain terrain you see in the commercials. The freeway speed limit is 55 (which means that you drive, eh, about 70. Ish.) This genius in front of you is driving at FORTY MILES PER HOUR.
[Insert me making a very serious face.]
Now you tell me. How, exactly, does this person expect to merge onto this very busy highway?
Apparently he doesn't. The two of you poke along, closer and closer to the traffic zooming by, and you begin to worry for your life.
It's a miracle that you manage to find a small hole between cars to squeeze into, though while doing so you cause 20 people to slam on brakes to avoid your bumper. Oops.

People like that should be banned from driving. Or maybe from even looking at a car. Or from thinking about looking at a car.

what is a "bad" person?

I feel like I fit the definition, whatever it may be.
I'm not a great friend. Most of the time I don't answer when people call me. About half the time I'm not too busy to answer.
I say hateful things sometimes.
I'm kinda bitchy to people I care about for no reason.
I may have led someone on who is very dear to me and I don't want to hurt him, but I'm probably going to.

Am I a bad person? Or am I just flawed?

Helsinki Complaints Choir