ok, so.

IF YOU ARE CHRISTIAN, THEN YOU ARE RELIGIOUS.
You people are so idiotic.

Some examples of the bullshit:

1. "It's not a religion; it's a relationship."
   Alright, uhm...IT'S A RELIGION. Go ahead and have a relationship with your Messiah or whatever shit, but it's still a religion.
2. "I'm not religious; I'm just Christian."
   ...I can't even respond to that level of stupid.
3. "It's actually not a religion--it's a lifestyle."
   Piss off. Part of how religion is commonly defined involves a prescribed way to live one's life. To be devout, one must live as one's religion instructs in everyday life. EVERY religion teaches about an ideal lifestyle. You ain't special.
4. "I've been saved."
   Oh, how nice for you. I have been too! A lifeguard pulled me out of the pool once when--what? It's different? Well, then maybe you should use a term that MAKES SOME EFFING SENSE. Like, I dunno, "I believe that Jesus of Nazareth is the son of the one true God and that he died on the cross for my sins." You weren't in any danger; you haven't been "saved."

Go away and don't talk to me if you're going to be annoying. Christianity is a religion just like Islam, Judaism, Shinto, Buddhism, Hinduism, Rastafarianism, Wicca, Neo-Druidism, and Daoism. You're not superior, and you're not inherently different. You don't get to call it something else just because you're closed-minded.

NERVOUS.

I'm about to submit my application to UNC. Oh my god oh my god oh my god.

me heart women's studies.

I talked to Phoebe about chivalry today, and why she doesn't think it's dead, and why I wish it would be. It bugs me that so many girls get annoyed if the guy doesn't run around the car to open the door for them. I feel so much more comfortable with my relationship because we open doors for EACH OTHER. And I pay for dinner sometimes. I don't want to be treated like I can't get out of a car by myself. I believe in mutual courtesy. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean you get to act like I'm a helpless flower.

Also, I explained to her why I don't use the word "hysterical." The Greek root hystera means "of or pertaining to the womb/uterus," as in the English word hysterectomy. Therefore, hysterical, whether used to indicate something being quite funny or a state of emotional panic, is really just a way of saying that one is acting like a woman by losing control and being over-emotional. Oh, language.

I just read this essay like five minutes ago called, "The Politics of Housework." It's wonderful. It was written in 1970 by a woman named Pat Mainardi. She discusses why men absolutely refuse to do housework and their rationalizations:

"So ensued a dialogue that's been going on for several years. Here are some of the high points:

'I don't mind sharing the housework but I don't do it very well. We should each do the things we're best at.'
Meaning: Unfortunately I'm no good at things like washing dishes or cooking. What I do best is a little light carpentry, changing light bulbs, moving furniture. (How often do you move furniture?)
Also meaning: Historically the lower classes (Blacks and women) have had hundreds of years doing menial jobs. It would be a waste of manpower to train someone else to do them now.
Also meaning: I don't like the dull stupid boring jobs, so you should do them.
... 'I hate it more than you. You don't mind it so much.'
Meaning: Housework is shit work. It's the worst crap I've ever done. It's degrading and humiliating for someone of my intelligence to do it. But for someone of your intelligence...'
... 'Women's Liberation isn't really a political movement.'
Meaning: The Revolution is coming too close to home.
Also meaning: I am only interested in how I am oppressed, not how I oppress others. Therefore the war, the draft, and the university are political. Women's Liberation is not.'"

 Hilarious. And absolutely brilliant. And true.

making excuses.

This one will be short and sweet. Sort of.

There is a Facebook group named, "EVERY GIRL IS NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL ♥" that claims hundreds of fans and preaches exactly what the name says. There is also a popular movement within American women to topple the existing standard of beauty, specifically the part about being thin. However, they are doing this by demeaning naturally thin women, making fun of women who like to exercise and stay fit, and saying that being bigger is caused by a genetic trait that makes them "plus-sized."

While I agree that the standard of beauty in this country and around the world is extreme and unrealistic, these chicks are pissing me off. Yes, most girls have some attractive physical characteristics. Yes, it is possible that you are a size 14 because you are genetically disposed to be tall and carry more flesh. BUT SOME GIRLS ARE JUST UGLY, AND SOME GIRLS ARE JUST FAT. It's true. It may not be terribly PC, but it's TRUE.

As sad as it is, there are people in the world who are just unattractive. They may be wonderful, giving, generous people on the inside, but that doesn't change the exterior. Deal with it. Also, if you are unhealthy, eating too much, and not exercising, YOU ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE NOT "A REAL WOMAN." A real woman would take care of herself. It's just a pathetic excuse for girls who don't want to work hard, so they pretend to be happy and sexy at 280 pounds. It's not sexy. It's gross.

I hate that American culture encourages this kind of crap. It's not healthy to make excuses for everything about yourself and get yourself off the hook from ever trying to improve as a person. Let's be realistic. Jeez.

ah, what to do.

I've decided to write my UNC application essay on Neville Longbottom. The application is due March 1. I am in trouble.

I don't think I can write this essay. Neville certainly is an interesting character, but I don't think I can make a strong enough point with him. I am notorious for this kind of second-guessing, though. I just don't know what to do. I am also notorious for being a terrible, terrible writer when it actually matters. I can bullshit about politics and religion and once or twice a year write a poem, but when there's a format and a due date, I lose my mind.

None of the three prompts inspires me. I have a couple weak, insipid ideas, and I refuse to use them. I'm far too picky.

Let me share with you how STUPID these prompts are:

1. People find many ways to express their inner world. Some write novels; others paint, perform, or debate; still others design elegant solutions to complex mathematical problems. How do you express your inner world, and how does the world around you respond?
2. It's easy to identify with the hero--the literary or historical figure who saves the day. Have you ever identified with a figure who wasn't a hero--a villain or a scapegoat, a bench-warmer or a bit player? If so, tell us why this figure appealed to you--and if your opinion changed over time, tell us about that, too.
3. After your long and happy life, your family must choose no more than a dozen words to adorn your headstone. What do you hope they choose, and why?

 Those are my options? Really?!

1. My inner world is a lot of political and religious opinion. How I express my inner world is ranting on this blog and posting status updates on Facebook. Occasionally, I vent to my boyfriend about some topic and then embarrass myself and never want to talk about it ever again. Not exactly essay material. No one wants a student who does nothing productive with her ideas.
2. Neville Longbottom is the only non-hero I can think of. I don't read nearly as much as I used to. I could think of branching out to non-literary figures, but I'm afraid. Also, anything I say is going to be cliched and corny.
3. My favorite poem is by e.e. cummings, and ends like this: "for life's not a paragraph/and death I think is no parenthesis." It's exactly twelve words, and it describes how I want to live my life. I want the effects of my life to reach beyond  my death. BUT IT'S SO CLICHE. I can just see it..."I wanna change the world, omg! Starting with world peace. And like, kids reading. Yeah."

I'm just not good enough for this essay. I'm too literal and not creative. I feel like I may as well save my money and stay at UNCG and be miserable for three more years. Whatever, it's just the rest of my life.