"Organic" does not necessarily stipulate that it's fresh.
Always always always brew the espresso into the water when making an Americano, not the other way around, because the one time you get lazy and do it the backwards way, Americano Guy will come up, bitch about how the crema's not right, get you to remake it, reject it again, then storm out (but not before hollering about how Starbucks can do it better).
Customers beg to be lied to. "Is the Mozzarella and Tomato sandwich good?" "Yes, of course." A better question is which is a more accurate reason why I said that:
a. I really don't care about your lunch.
b. I get paid when you buy things. Just buy the sandwich.
c. I actually really like the Mozz & Tom.
Who knows, it could be any or all of those answers. It's probably one of the first two, though.
A customer would have to be a freaking superhuman demigod(dess) to tell the difference when I give them whole milk instead of 2% (we don't have actual 2% milk; we have to mix whole and skim. I'm not just a bad person). They deserve those extra few calories, picky bastards.
Fat people always ask for skim milk.
Pregnant women are the most awful and obnoxious people ever. I honestly don't know or care if the asiago cheese is pasteurized. No, I can't find out. Because no one knows. Well, I'm sorry you can't eat any cheese that isn't pasteurized. You know, actually, I'm pretty sure it is pasteurized. Go ahead and eat it. Your child's probably going to be defective anyway, having your genes, so what's this little bit of spoiled curd gonna do?
Children are demons. They scream. They cry. They take the frosting off of their beautifully decorated cupcakes and draw mediocre sketches on the beige wall.
Apparently, only Hispanic people know how to cook or wash dishes. Hence, Spanish is the most useful language ever. "La basura" means "the trash." "Que es eso?" means "what is this?" "Seguro que si, mi amor" means "of course, my love." Other conversation between members of the BOH (back of house) staff is usually about your ass.
Don't trust iced coffee.
3 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you are my hero.
the only things i've learned at work are as follows:
1) the older and fatter the old man, the more they smell. and, i've noticed, the higher the likely hood that they will buy a dirty magazine, probably one of the "barely legal" ones.
2) selling condoms to kids your own age is always akward, no matter how hard the kid tries to be nonchalant.
I think your knowledge is superior
oh jesus, yes, it is pretty much all about your ass. working in kitchens has made me really grateful that i'm not a woman living in mexico. can you imagine growing up thinking that sort of treatment is normal?
i enjoy your work knowledge. hopefully i wasn't an obnoxious pregnant woman (i pretty much knew what i could eat though, so there you go), and i also hope that benjamin doesn't draw with his frosting...now i know what to look out for though. oh, and i only only only trust your iced coffee.
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