TMI.

I think it's funny when men write erotica from the female perspective and say things like, "She had never felt so much like a woman," etc., when some girl is getting railed with her hands tied behind her. As a progressive feminist, that doesn't really bother me in and of itself; the goal of gender equality (to me) is not that all women experience their femininity the same way, but rather that they have the choice to be whatever kind of women they want. So yes, I am sure that some women feel fulfilled and "womanly," whatever that means, during sex acts in which they are bound, gagged, tied up, taken from behind, whatever. What bugs me is the male expectation, revealed by some erotic writers, that THAT is how a woman should be sexy. She should submit fully to whatever fantasy her lover has in mind and she WILL enjoy it, even though it isn't necessarily her fantasy.

Being expected to perform in a particular way, even if it is "promiscuous" or "deviant" or "dirty" or "naughty," is not sexual liberation. You are only liberated when you make the conscious choice to act as best fulfills you and let everyone know that is why you do what you do. There is nothing wrong with being submissive, dominant, sado-masochistic, or traditional in your sexual expression. There is something wrong with equating sexual freedom to having lots of sex--that is a product of male imagination, and a dangerous product at that. Freedom comes with honest self-expression.